The Chaos The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenité This is a classic English poem containing about 800 of the worst irregularities in English spelling and pronunciation. If you can successfully pronounce the entire thing without error, you're officially a better English speaker than 90% of the world. But don't feel bad if you can't. It's quite the challenge. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem...